Sex In South America

First of all, I don't want everyone to think we're on a round-the-world sex tour.  Don't get me wrong, I love sex and that's definitely one of things I look forward to when I travel, for reasons I'll describe below.  However, while we may blog a lot about our sexual encounters and experiences, it's merely because there's only so much one can write about a museum, a park or a national monument other than to say it was nice, worth seeing, or totally sucked.  Sex is different in the sense that, while every culture does it, each culture approaches it somewhat differently and the people in different countries have varying attitudes towards sex, especially when it comes to gays.  All this makes for interesting observations and experiences, like the sex hotels in Chile, which I find much more interesting to write about.

 

Anyway, since Sean mentioned his frustration and disappointment a few days ago, I wanted to share my overall experience as well, which, as Sean mentioned, has been quite different.  As I mentioned, sex is one of the things I look forward to when I travel.  Why?  Because I've spent the last six plus years living in a city where I have had to face the same lack of opportunities that Sean has experienced here in South America.  I got tired of even talking about it back home because after a while, even friends would write my complaints off as exaggeration or plain old bitching, but regardless of how many people choose not to see it or admit it, the San Diego gay community is the most discriminatory (dare I say racist?) community I've ever seen and Black guys just are not popular, appreciated, desirable, or even noticed.  The fact that San Diego gay guys are "not into Black guys" is not always blatant, but oftentimes it is, and it's always simply written off as "personal preference".  Call it what you want, but the fact remains that back home, getting laid was difficult for me simply because I'm Black.  Of course, there were occasionally other issues involved or reasons given for my repeated rejection, but the most predominant factor, by far, was race.  Sure, I had few fuck buddies over the years in San Diego, which helped to contain my anger and frustration, but most of my fuck buddies were not exactly guys you would take home to meet the parents or introduce to your friends.  But when you're horny and desperate, the guy doesn't necessarily have be attractive; he can even be a little old or overweight, but if he's good in bed, who cares.  Living in San Diego, I didn't necessarily lower my standards, but I learned to look for and appreciate other qualities in potential hook ups and not be so focused on physical appearance.  That was the only way to stay sane.  Oftentimes, it's the guy no one else pays attention to that's best anyway, not just in bed, but overall.  I discussed this with my best friend Carsten when I was in Switzerland recently because he is the only person I know who understands and has had similar experiences.  I won't even get started on the utter lack of dates or platonic, non-sexual encounters in San Diego.  I had relatively few dates outside of my primary relationship and nothing that lasted or, as was the case a few times with Sean, morphed into a genuine, lasting friendship.  The only guy I've met in the last few years who I've developed a relationship with, or was even interested in anything beyond sexual, lives in Germany! 

 

Getting back on track, the reason I look forward to sex when I travel is because everywhere else I've ever been, being Black does not prohibit me from finding guys to hook up with and I always have better sex outside of San Diego... even in other cities in the States.  Sure there are places where Black guys are fetishized, like the few white guys in San Diego who are exclusively into Black guys because of the "big dick" stereotype; but, for the most part, guys outside of the States like Black guys because they find us attractive.  It's that simple.  The guys I hook up with abroad always talk about how nice my skin is, how much they like my hair, how much they like my body, etc.  Sure, I still get compliments on my dick, but in places like Germany, at least half the guys are even more hung than I am so it's not like that's their primary reason for hooking up with me.  And in places like South America where I've seen very few guys as hung as me, most of the guys I've hooked up with have either been tops, or in a few cases, versatile guys who just "couldn't take it" so still ended up topping me, so it's not like the guys here are looking for the stereotypical big-dicked black guy. 

 

As far as the sexual experiences in South America themselves, it's not like everything has been as rewarding and enjoyable as it may sound.  Sometimes the sex has been good, sometimes it's not; only a couple of experiences have been excellent.  Oftentimes, it's more about the moment.  Take Cusco for example.  We went to a really nice restaurant one Sunday night where all of the waiters were hot, 20-something year old Peruvian guys.  Over dinner, Sean and I both commented on which ones we liked the best and had our favorites picked out.  I even tried talking to the one I liked when he came to clear our table, but he didn't speak any English, which he appeared to be quite shy about.  Nevertheless, we were at the bar a couple days later and, lo and behold, there was Mr. Hot Waiter from the restaurant sitting at the bar with his friend who had an even nicer body but was not as attractive in the face.  Long story short, I think Sean mentioned we left the bar with them and went to a hotel where I had decent (albeit quick) sex with my guy in a room that smelled of raw sewage while Sean, in another room, had a bad experience with the other guy.  We could have just gone home, but we didn't and, good or bad, we both have something to blog about. 

 

I have had the pleasure of fulfilling one fantasy since I've been here in Cordoba.  I have my own little fetish for guys with tattoos... the more the better.  There's nothing hotter to me than a guy with "sleeves", tattoos covering his entire arms from the shoulder to the wrist.  It was late Tuesday night and Sean had just decided to go to bed, so I took a chance on a guy I was chatting with online.  He had seven or eight pictures, but none were above the waist, so all I really saw were his legs and his dick.  Since he was relatively close by, I decided to go for it and was pleasantly surprised when he opened the door to let me in.  His entire back was covered in ink; he had a full sleeve on one arm and the other arm was about 2/3 full; more tattoos on his chest, abs, and thighs.  And he also had a nice face and hot body!!  Definitely the hottest guy I've hooked up with since I've been in South America.  The sex, however, while good, could have been better.  As with many of the guys in Catholic country, this guy wasn't really into kissing and his balls and ass were off limits.  He pretty much only wanted to get sucked and fuck me.  He was quite the energizer bunny though and we went a few rounds in the couple of hours I was there, but if it weren't for the tattoos, I probably wouldn't have been interested in a repeat, which I did have tonight.  Again, he lives a 10 minute walk away and actually has his own place (or pigsty), a HUGE plus and a rarity down here, especially for a 28 year old.

 

So yes, I've had sex in every country I've been to so far except Bolivia, but it's not like it's been all high-quality, mind-blowing, marathon sex.  And despite all the sex, it would be nice to have a more intimate experience sometime.  It would be nice to meet someone cool and get to know them, instead of just going from random trick to random trick.  Having lots of sex is great, and I look for that, but while I may have more opportunities for sex here than I do in San Diego, the shallow, carnal nature of the experiences is the same.  It would be nice to find someone interested in me for more than just sex, but I guess the one thing living in San Diego has taught me is that I can't have everything.  So like San Diego, I'll take what I can get, which is probably more than most guys, and I'll try not to complain.