Welcome to Kapitel 42: Reflections on my new life in Berlin.
I created this blog to document my experiences starting and living a new life in Berlin, Germany. From the initial planning of my relocation (and multiple delays due to the worldwide COVID-19 pandemic) to the process of getting settled and establishing residency, my desire is to create a durable digital record of this extraordinary journey and all the challenges it will undoubtedly entail. I also plan to use this site to provide updates on life, in general, and maintain a connection to my family and friends in the United States and around the world. At times, I’m sure I will vent my frustrations, but I also hope to share my excitement, my successes, and the small victories of everyday life when navigating a new environment and adjusting to a new way of life.
I fully expect certain aspects of my identity to have a profound impact on my experiences in Berlin and I will do my best to document those experiences here. First, as a Black man, I am acutely aware that my skin color will play a role in other people’s perception and treatment of me. I am no stranger to race-based discrimination or blatant racism, and I am under no illusion that I will not experience some of the same difficulties in Germany that I experienced in the United States. Second, as a gay man, I am looking forward to living in one of the world’s major “gay capitals” and enjoying certain freedoms and liberties that are still not available to me in many parts of the US, but I recognize that homophobia still exists, even here. Finally, as an American, and in particular, as an American who has traveled extensively throughout the world, I know there is a common stigma attached to my nationality and that my presence will not always be welcome. But, I did not choose my citizenship any more than I chose my race, or my sexual orientation, and I believe most people understand this and have good intentions.
Moving to Berlin represents the start of a new chapter in my life. At age 42, I am starting that chapter late so it will not be easy. Yes, I’m anxious, intimidated, and uncertain (WTF am I doing!), but when I feel overwhelmed, I remind myself I have already accomplished every other goal I have set for myself in life. It is time for the next challenge. I have dreamed of embarking on such an adventure for as long as I can remember and the circumstances of life have guided me to this place at this time. I remain curious. I remain humble. I remain open. I await the future with the determination to thrive. After all, “42 is the answer to the ultimate question of life, the universe, and everything”.
Only time will reveal how this chapter unfolds.
Fiat Lux!
-Ozell Xianté
(October 20, 2020)